Gymiski,+Cody

Initial proposal draft

I know that the issue has much worriy to society. The teenage homocide rating has been dramaticly incresing over the past few years. The problems that surrunds the issue are that a majority of teenage homicides are commited with a gun, another problem is the fact that law enforcements are having a difficult time on figuring out the motive for the homocide.

The soulution for the problem identifyed in the first paragraph is a stricker gun laws, with more harsh punishments. The reason for this soulution is that if teenagers have little acess to these weapons then they are less likely to use them in the first place. the immidiate result of these laws would be a sharp decress in teenage homocides over the next year. Within a few years the numbers could drop down about 20%. The purpose for my writing of teenage homocide is to help prevent teenage murder in the first palce. i would like the reader to learn more about teenage homocide and who the victums of the trageity are: the one who is murdered, the family of the decessed, the family of the teenage killer, and finally the teenager who commits the crime.

=Intermidiate reflection.= Solution The origonal solution to my proposal is to give teenagers proper care and counciling so we can prevent teenage homicide.

Yes the solution is posible but it is very difficult to find out when a young adult will snap. **//(good point)//**

no this solution is not specific enough because many young adluts who commit murder or homicide often have a good homelife or they have no home to begin with. **//(what is your specific solution then?)//**

Teenage homicide is a very dangerous issue in America today.it is as widespread as the bobonic plague was in the middle ages. it must be put to an end.because the over all population of young males and females is becomeing criminals and being sent to jail, or murdered. (**//is it really that widespread? do you have recent statistics? how many teens per 1000 commit murder?)//**

Audience The main audience i seek to reach is mostly teenagers or the parents of teenagers. becuase thay are the main factor when one teenager becomes a murderer at such a young age. **//( really different audiences, choose to focus on one or the other)//**

The part about my solution that makes it important is that at this moment 24% of teenagers are murderers //**(that sounds really high. please show me the source of that statistic. I think you're misreading it.)**// and that the number is expected to increse sharply over the next couple of years.

1) teenagers are expoased to 6,000 murders before they enter elementary school. **//(where?)//** 2) Teenagers with litttle to no extra coricualer activities are more likely to become a teen homicide criminal 3) The parents are a direct influence on their childs behavior. 4) abuse from parents might worsen the condisions fo a teenager 5) most teenage murder cases involve the suspect with a mental disorder in the brain **//(what kind of mental disorder?)//**

The source that gave me the best information was the book "Kids who kill" by Herma Silverstein

now i still need to know the reson why the teenagers are murdering more and more no adays.

Rhetorical Strategies

Cause/ Effect i have learned that one cause of teen homicide is child abuse. when a parent abuses their child it can result in several mental and emotional issues.

Statistics i have learend that 24% of teenagers have commited a murder. this number was friom the early 2000's the number could most likely be in the forty percentile range.

Definition the key words i will define are murder,influence, cause / effect, abuse, emotions and mental issues. **//(good terms to define)//**

the strategie that i shalll aply will be deffinition. i will help to define how a teenager murders and i will try to explain and understand the motives for such a crime. **//(you need to choose a fourth strategy, something you haven't been required to use)//** []
 * //video://**

information used

source 1

Silverstein, Herma __Kids Who Kill__ New York; twenty-first century books, 1997

Cody Gymiski  SAP A gunshot rings out in Boston Ma in June of 2009. 17 year old Mike Donovan has been shot by a 12-guage semi-automatic shotgun. The wound if fatal he is gasping for air as the blood slowly fills his lungs. Meanwhile the owner of the shotgun Phil Baker age 15 is fleeing the scene. He shot Mike because he refused to give him his Jordan’s sneakers. Now the shoes are ruined drenched in Mike blood. Phil Runs faster and faster, as the Police sirens come closer and closer… This is a common occurrence throughout the USA. It is called teenage homicide, and it occurs when a minor shoots, stabs, (or anything of the sort) a person to death. Because teenage homicide is so common in the US the government, as well as the communities of the teenagers should aide the teenagers by providing them with a safe and secure place to live so they can learn and grow. There are several causes that can lead a teenager to commit a homicide. The first one is child abuse. Child abuse is very common in teenagers who commit homicide. Many studies have shown that children who are abused are at high risk to committing violence.(#1) In __Kids who kill__ by Herma Silverstein, it is stated that child abuse can not only harm the child physically but psychologically as well. Psychological disturbances can also have a large impact on a teenager who might commit homicide. Anti-social behavior such as fighting, starting fires, cruelty to animals, and self-mutilation are all signs of a child in need.(#1) Also 6 to 16% of males and 2 to 9 % of females have conduct disorders such as, being rude, harsh and cruel. (#1) Violence in the media has been thought to have a direct cause to many teenage homicide cases. For example a child could be influenced from the lyrics of the Insane Clown Posse (ICP), Wu Tang Clan or the Nigger’s with attitude (NWA). The Genre of music the artists play is gangster rap (for the NWA and Wu Tang Clan, and horror core rap (for ICP). Which can be extremely violent. All three artists have violent rap lyrics that a teenager that has a lose grip on reality and imagination could cause a very graphic homicide. There also have been many cases where musical lyrics are a direct cause to teenage homicide. However there is no defined link between the two. Brain damage is another large factor in teenage homicide, a study was conducted on fourteen death row inmates. Al of whom were minors. All fourteen inmates had symptoms consistent with brain damage. Nine has serious neurological abnormalities, including abnormal reflexes, and brainwaves and seizure disorders. The effects of teenage homicide are very simple and clear. When a teenager commits a homicide lives are lost; not just the one who is being murdered but the teen committing it. They teenager committing the act will lose his life in jail in most cases 25- life in prison. In some stated have the death penalty It is uneniable that teenage homicide is an issue in the US. The government as well as the communites should work together and intervine with programs such as my wilderness treatment program before the teenagers are likely to commit a homicide.

Works cited: Silverstein, Herma

__Kids who kill __

New York: Twenty-first century books,1997