Otero,+Angela

5/10/11T

The different types of Abuse. = = media type="youtube" key="lZMzxZaM2LI" height="365" width="744" align="center"

=The Paper.=

As mainly as 50% of girls who are raised in violent families will be victims of batterers at some time, while 60% of boys will become the batterers (Rue, N. Nancy). Teen girls should not be affected by abusive boys at such a young age or even as an adult. Because of the bad home environment that influences some teens to think it’s okay to physically, verbally/emotionally and socially abuse teen girls. The community should provide free counseling programs for teens in abusive relationships, so they can learn how to have a healthy relationship.

Abuse is the intentional use of physical, verbal or social force or attach to control and maintain power over another person by frightening and intimidating her (Rue, N. Nancy). A 2008 report from the National Council on Crime and Delinquency found that about one in three teenage girls in the U.S. is a victim of verbal, physical, or social abuse from a dating partner (White Gayle). Dating abuse can happen to anyone, no matter their sexual orientation, gender identity, ethnicity, income level, educational level or even their national background. Abusers are people who frequently come from violent homes, or at least homes having a general lack of respect for women and children and very few constructive ways to express emotions (Rue, N. Nancy).

Abuse is the use of physical force or attack to control and maintain power over another person by frightening and intimidating her (Rue, N. Nancy). Alcohol allows a guy to let down his inhibitions and become violent. Drugs in some cases do cause hostility and, in others cause aggression. Hitting, grabbing, pushing, shaking, restraining you is all acts of physical abuse. Some people are violent around them and just think it’s okay to do. Children from homes where daddy beats mother often have severe emotional, psychological, and educational problems. They are very likely to have violent relationships themselves after they are grown (Lindsay W. Jeanne). Generally if a man hits a women once he won’t stop. If he doesn’t get professional help, he probably won’t change (Lindsay W. Jeanne). Escaping contact with an abuser is often difficult for a teenager because both may attend the same school and have mutual friends. Warning signs of an abusive relationship are he checks up on you and call a lot. You’re afraid to anger him, he loses his temper, he doesn’t interact well with your family, your grades drop and your appearance and weight change. You can get out this relationship, but you just have to try really hard and confide in people that you trust.

Verbal and emotional abuse usually starts out not to be so serious, but if you don’t stop it while it’s in the beginning stages, then it will get serious. You should talk to your daughter before she starts dating (Crompton Vicki). Sometimes girls start to lose interest in the things they once enjoyed. Excessive jealousy and controlling behavior are not signs

of affection at all (Unknown). He only wants to gain power and control over you. He will put you down using insults, name-calling, and humiliation. So he attacks your weakness, but if you show no fear then you will always win. The three stages are: he becomes irritable, he doesn’t want to hurt her, just teach her a lesson, and he becomes extremely kind and loving (Lindsay W. Jeanne). “A 2009 study by the Bureau of Justice Statistics media type="youtube" key="4JShOzqhy3k" height="296" width="377" align="right" found that people 18 and 19 years old are most frequent victims of stalking” (White Gayle). When you do get out the relationship he probably will want you back, and that’s normal. But you have to be the strong one to get away. Also making threats to harm or kill your family and friends or even himself are all signs of verbal and emotional abuse. He might even be possessive or constantly accuse you of cheating, but you just have to be stronger than that.

If you ever feel like if you tell your partner something and you can’t trust him because he might start rumors about, then this is social abuse. He will spread rumors, trying to blackmail you, so he can control your actions. Women are at least 5 times more to suffer at the hands of a loved one. Between the ages of 16 and 24 are more at risk. Teen Dating Violence touches more than 30% of young men and women. (Prah M. Pamela). Girls usually do stay with him for many reasons. You might feel humiliated and ashamed. You think that the abuse is all your fault, and that you can change him. Also, you might have really low self-esteem. But this is not all true. He is usually just making you believe this, so you can feel lower than him. You cannot change him. He needs to change himself. First 1/3 to ½ of all American women are, at some time abused by their husbands or lovers. Somewhere in the United States, women are beaten every 15 seconds (Lindsay W. Jeanne). He will try and keep tabs on you, so he knows exactly what you’re doing at all times. He would probably monitor your phone calls or use your friends to tell him what you’re doing. But if you want to get away, then you need to lose all contact with him in every way. Breakups could be dangerous, so don’t ever be alone with him (Crompton Vicki).

There are ways to get out of these rough relationships, but you just have to bready. Healthy relationships involve respect, trust, and consideration for the other person (Unknown). If you’re in a relationship where you feel it is not right, then you need to leave before it gets deep. Because the longer you stay, the harder it will be to get out. Friends and family who love and care about you can help you break away (Unknown). Assault in anyway is illegal. There are many people around you that can give you some help. Solutions to the domestic violence issues are simple. If you and your partner are willing to go through this, both of you need to go to relationship counseling by yourselves. You need to do this for however long it takes. When your counselor believes that, you are ready to move on. Then you will know what a healthy relationship is. Also, you needed to decide whether or not to take him back. Don’t let no one make the decision for you.

If you feel like you are in a domestic relationship, then you need to get out and get some counseling before it’s too late. About 10-17% of girls are hit by their boyfriends (Prah M. Panela). Boys that are raised in bad home environments think that it is okay to physically, verbally/emotionally, and socially abuse teen girls by the influences around them. But it’s not so, the community should be providing counseling for these young teens.



=**Annotated Works Cited.**=

====Rue, Nancy N.. //Coping with dating violence//. New York: Rosen Pub. Group, 1989. Print. This book presents how to deal with the situations of abusive relations ====
 * ( #1 ) - Book**

==== hips. Their are many different stories from people who share their story. The book also tell you the signs and what to be aware of in a man. This book also explains how this is a growing problem and people need to speak out on it. (**tags:** //none// | **[|edit tags]**) ====

====Lindsay, Jeanne Warren. //Teenage marriage: coping with reality//. Buena Park, Calif.: Morning Glory Press, 1984. Print. The author's technique of interviewing the young people involved, the quoting them throughout each chapter results in reality-packed pages. These married teenagers share their hopes, their dreams, and their frustrations. They don't recommend very early marriage - many with they have waited - but they do suggest ways of building a good relationship in spite of the difficulties encountered. They often speak of the need to make a lifetime commitment to one's marriage partner. (**tags:** //none// | **[|edit tags]**) ====
 * ( #2 ) - Book**

====Prah, Pamela. "Domestic Violence." //CQ Researcher//. N.p., 6 Jan. 2006. Web. 12 May 2011. . T **his database resource is mainly about how abusive relationships happen without anyone doing anything about it. People don't realize its happening until a celebrity comes out and says it. Teen violence is the worst and touches more t ****han 30% of young men and women. **(**tags:** //none// | **[|edit tags]**) ====
 * ( #3 ) - Database **

====**White, Gayle. "Abusive Teenage Relationships on the Rise | SparkAction." //SparkAction | For children. For youth. For change.//. N.p., 5 Apr. 2011. Web. 12 May 2011. . This article mainly talks abouts relationships and their stories of abusive relationships. It really gives you a good inside on how an abusive relationship is. Also it gives you many statistics about the abusive relationships in the world. ( **tags: **//none// |** [|edit tags]**)**====
 * <span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">( #4 ) - Internet **

====**<span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">Crompton, Vicki. "Vicki Crompton on abusive relationships." //Contemporary Women's Issues Database//. N.p., 1 May 2003. Web. 12 May 2011. <http://elibrary.com>. This article is about how she became an expert on abusive relationships through he daughter. She also talks about how people stereotype abusive relationships. Not only girls get abused boys do too. ( **tags: **//none//|** [|edit tags]**)**====
 * <span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">( #5 ) - Internet **


 * <span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">( #6 ) - Database **
 * <span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">New, Michelle. "Healthy Relationships Involve Respect and Trust." //KidsHealth - the Web's most visited site about children's health//. N.p., 19 Aug. 2010. Web. 12 May 2011. <http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/relationships/abuse.html#>. This database explains how an abuser works. The steps how he will eventually start doing his dirt. In the beginning you wont be seeing your friends or family. Then every thing else starts to fall apart. So you have to get out early before its to late. ( **tags: **//none// |** [|edit tags]**)**

====**<span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">"Teen Relationships » What is Abuse?." //Teen Relationships » You Deserve a Healthy Relationship!//. N.p., n.d. Web. 12 May 2011. <http://www.teenrelationships.org/abuse/>. This database simply breaks down everything to the exact point. It tells you what an emotional/mental/verbal relationship is. Also it explains what physical, sexual, financial and social abuse is. ( **tags: **//none// |** [|edit tags]**)**====
 * <span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">( #7 ) - Database **


 * <span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">( #8 ) - Interview **